Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
