never play flip cup with pint glasses
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
