I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
