I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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