You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize