as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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