she woke up with a sticky ear
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
