But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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