What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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