She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
last night I used snow as a chaser
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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