But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
