I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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