Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
