i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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