yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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