so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
try to milk me bitch
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