Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
