The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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