Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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