He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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