marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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