i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
is it fun? or sober?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
