How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
