I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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