Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
