yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
