I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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