that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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