Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
