You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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