A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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