we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize