..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
