Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
