Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
