Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize