Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
