It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
