I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
