so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
we're so committed to being not committed
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
