do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
