these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
