your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize