Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
