His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
