it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
In America we eat man semen.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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