so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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