Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
