sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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