i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
