kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
