YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
