I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
