there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
