Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
