idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
