i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
