$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
