when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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