i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
